The Failed Success — 18th Apr 2020

The Failed Success

Today’s little adventure calls for me to be a little more than just a slob who can make food that’s edible. I must transform into the Gordan Ramsey of Cannabis, The Jamie Oliver of Marijuana. Let’s get serious, for today’s recipe you will need:

  • 4 slices of bread
  • A dollop of Peanut butter
  • A shit ton of Nutella (other chocy spread brands are available)
  • 1 to 2 teaspoons of medicated herb. The good stuff.

This recipe will serve two. Let’s get fucking cooking.

16:41 – I’ve just taken those ingredients and mashed them into something that resembles two sandwiches. One slice for each of us has Nutella and other peanut butter, PeaNutella sandwiches I call them. I sprinkled a healthy helping of weed on to the Nutella side and closed up the Bud butties. They’re in the fridge wrapped up in tinfoil at the moment, I read that you should give the THC time to bind to the fats. It didn’t seem necessary to do it the last time we enjoyed a spoonful of medicated peanut butter, but it would be interesting to see what effects differ. For now, it’s time to explore JustEat and get some food in our bellies before we embark on our next journey!

20:21 – Well, this is interesting. The Mrs is on the phone to her Mum talking about the sandwiches we just ate, and the herb vape we use too. I think I will be making three sandwiches next time… We’re only 15 mins in from the initial ingestion, so still some time to go before we get high. I have to say, I much prefer the butty method over just dumping weed into a mug of coffee, so much tastier and less grainy. After that brew, I could feel the herb in my teeth and stuck to my throat, I do not recommend.

Cannot taste the weed at all here, these sandwiches are doing a great job of masking the fact you are just chewing away at burnt plant. Maybe there’s no weed in it, maybe some greedy cunt in the flat has sniffed it out and picked it all out and carefully wrapped it all back up in tinfoil. Maybe I’m just being a bit paranoid. Got my tin foil hat on for now anyway, might be the weed talking.

21:38 – I have decided to wear sunglasses now. I just think they look cooler than not having sunglasses on. To be quite honest, everything looks fucking cooler in these. I’m pretty high and enjoying the work through grey tinted glasses.

“I want to get off the boat Captain, let me off the boat” is not something you expect to hear every day from your girlfriend. But, hey-ho, it’s what she just said to me. That should be a really good indicator to the level off high she is at right now.

The Next Morning…

11:01 – Well, that didn’t go as planned. I had a cheeky vape and sure enough, it started the ball rolling and I did end up getting pretty baked last night. Unfortunately, the Mrs had gone from her usually loopy self to 100 in terms of fucko’d by the time I’d finished. I should have known from the boat comment I was in for a treat. I recon I put too much weed in the sandwiches, so maybe half a teaspoon would have been enough for us. Lesson learnt. Hey, I can actually say that by writing this blog, I have actually learnt something. After 5 or 6 of these, I may have this ‘Eating a plant’ thing down. So far, so good!

What I’ve learnt so far, I can definitely feel a different sort of high from edibles over smoking or vaping. I feel like we both get more cuddly, sleepy and less hyper and horny. Although, we did wake up at 1:30 in the morning for a quick shag session. It is interesting the concept that you could manufacture a type of high. Kind of weed, ingestion method, amount ingested, these all collate to a type of high. I’m really enjoying the calm and relaxing baked I get when I eat edibles, but on the other hand, The Mrs gets extremely fucked after taking the same amount. I may need to sprinkle a little less for her next time. Eventually, after a few hours, we we’re both lying on the bed, eyes closed and enjoying the falling feeling together. So, in the end, a great success.

If we could figure out how to achieve a balance of quantity and intake method for certain highs I’d wish to achieve, I would be very happy! For now, I can safely say that half a teaspoon for edibles is so far ideal, some more experimentation will be required. As far as intake methods, for edibles so far, I think I will stick to the very successful and tasty PeaNutella sandwich technique, as it tasted amazing and I believe elevated our highs due to the time we allowed the THC to bond to the fats. I may be wrong, but it seemed as if it did make a considerable difference. I also need to stop interfering with the results by avoiding the vape after ingesting. Next time will be more professional and scientific, I promise.

Until next time.

The First Post — 17th Apr 2020

The First Post

Our adventure begins and it not for the faint of heart. The path ahead is crawling with paranoia, giggles and the munchies. Today, we embark on an edible journey to Cannabis island, to experiment with some decarboxylated Cannabis from my dry herb vaporiser. I could not believe I was simply throwing away the golden-brown goodness that I thought to be useless. Turns out, you can eat it!

Let’s begin…

19:27 – The Decarboxylated weed came from my MigVapour dry herb vape. We’ve been collecting it ready for days such as today, where we feel adventurous and cannot be arsed doing any work. Besides, it is Easter Sunday. What better way to celebrate the rebirth of Christ himself than with a taste of Mother Earth’s special herb?

Our first attempt many weeks ago, we dumped half a teaspoon of used vape weed into a cup of coffee and sure enough, it worked! A buzz that amazed us and lasted for hours. So here goes attempt number 2. Today we are using the same amount as last time, but instead of coffee, we are enjoying our toasted weed with a dessert spoon of lovely Peanut butter. Scoop some peanut butter out and sprinkle on some herb. Simple. The THC needs a fat to bind to, and it’s what we have in the fridge, so why not?

Well anyway, it’s half 7 on a Sunday night and we’ve both just had half a teaspoon of weed. Let’s see if God speaks to us.

19:44 – It’s taken me 15 minutes to write that last passage, so thank God that the Mrs liked the sound of it. Looks like this could turn out pretty interesting. I shall continue.

20:15 – So, as expected, the effects haven’t quite hit us just yet. Hold that thought, my girlfriend has just lifted her head from the Easter egg she was scoffing to tell me that she feels something. Interesting. I’m feeling rather normal at the moment, but I am about 5 foot taller than her. Maybe give it 5 minutes or so.

She just said she is horny. I will be back in 2 mins, let’s see if she is hungry for more than just chocolate tonight.

20:35 – So, my current state in consideration to levels of ‘high’ is that I feel rather okay. my future wife on the other hand… is, I quote, “High as fuck, man”. The woman I am going to marry and have kids with one day, just referred to me as ‘man’. True love.

P.S. No sex just yet. I am curious at what time and how long after the consumption she will start to want a little fumble. Interesting.

20:58 – 9pm update. The past half an hour has flown by like a feather in the wind. I only feel slightly high at the moment, much like a Tipsy high, I think it must react a little differently to the Mrs. Oh, who by the way, is currently fighting away on Pokémon Go and getting a little frustrated that she can’t seem to win. She came up against a player who has MewTwo and her first reaction was. “This guy has MewTwo, I am fucked. Fuck!”. I have never seen her more serious in my life!

I’ve been enjoying Pokémon Go myself too of course, We’ve been enjoying our P-Go walks while in the isolation. With exercise only permitted once per day, we should of course take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to get some fresh air and sunshine while in a Pandemic. The way we take advantage of this time, is to play Pokémon Go. A game designed for 13 years and over. I wouldn’t have it any other way too.

Final note, I am definitely high now. The energy I used to get out of bed and pick up the laptop, must have sent a rush of weed to my brain. Because I am feeling it!

21:11 – My girlfriend wanted me to tell you that she has now won a battle in Pokémon Go. She was happy and gave me a little cheery dance. She didn’t want to seem like a loser on this word document I am just typing away on that no one can see.

21:19 – I just tried my first Pokémon battle. I enjoyed myself, so I can understand why she looks like she’s enjoying herself so much too… Wait… I’m looking over at her now and her hand looks like it’s on fire with how quickly that thing is moving. Jesus. I’m not sure what would break first, her phone or her finger. She’s poking that thing with such force. Sounds like a Jack hammer digging up concrete.

So, she has just gone to the toilet and left the door open and sat down. Now, all I can hear is her tapping away in the distance having battles in Pokémon Go while having a piss. Weirdo.

22:57 – We are at the level that my girlfriend is now giggling to herself and Snapchatting this exact word document to her friend. I’m not sure where that will lie on the ‘High scale’. Maybe a 7? I think we’ve decided to make some pizza. So defo got the munchies. It will be interesting to maybe plot this timeline and levels of high on a graph. Can’t go wrong with a good spreadsheet!

23:03 – We have just consumed a full packet of crisps while only looking directly into each other’s eyes. Very cool. Defo higher than a 7. Level 8 high!

00:49 – Well, just had sex. Feels like I’m coming down a little bit. I feel mainly just tired with my dry eyes. All in all, a successful 5-hour experiment. From half a teaspoon of what comes from a remnant of a vape sesh, quite an impressive yield in high. 2 bakes for the price of one. I will have to do another little stoner diary entry the next time we smoke. Time to hit the hay. Good night Stoner Diary.